Quickies(Jokes)

My girlfriend told me my love making reminds her of Earnhardt Jr. because everytime I do good and she starts to have confidence in me I find away to wreck the shit before I finish.

I heard Justin Bieber is releasing his very own male nail polish….1st 3 polish colors are Fag, Faggy, and Faggiest!

We was so poor growing up my sister had to use Q-tips for tampons, and all these years I thought she had a ear infection……or a tight vagina

They say women blink twice as much as men…..which proves I do last twice as much at sex then giving credit for from my past girlfriends

its PMS awareness week, so to help the fight against PMS I would like to donate $1,000 Dollars to the makers of Duct Tape…

My intrest are Pizza, Sports, and Women (in that exact order)……its obvious why women come 3rd to me. Some body gotta clean up the pizza boxes and turn off the TV after the game.

The older I get the more mentally athletic I am…was watching football sunday and the WR let the pass go right over his head without diving, I’m like I could have have dive for that and made a touchdown!!!! as I moan in pain while reaching for the last piece of pizza.

I dont drink alcohol, which is probally why I have no sex life!!! I go to alot of bars and clubs and you know that saying “The more you drink the prettier she gets”…well that same ugly chick sittin at the end of the bar when I walk in…is the same ugly chick sittin at the end of the bar when I walk out, until I get her home that is.

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