20 Reasons To Follow Me On Twitter


20 random tweets from the past couple weeks from me:

1. Dennis Rodman to play the lead in the new movie “Drag Cinderella” #TwoThumbsUpYourAss

2. if you follow me on Twitter I swear I will follow you on Myspace. #Deal?

3. I feel like I’m underachieving at this point in my life, I should be past the shyness of kissing a girl. #PuckerUp

4. I’m looking for that One Shining Moment, That moment after sex when she finally says “Good Job” #iWaitpatiently

5. #thingsivesaidduringsex your not as good as your mother

6. #ilovewhen a Blonde thinks she’s smarter then me, Just remember I’m not as smart as I look to you and dont forget it. #DumbBitch

7. I’m a beautiful person in the inside, You just have to peek through my asshole to see it. #JustSaying

8. Dear @charliesheen , Can I open for one of your shows? I think I can get louder Boo’s then the last guy that opened for you. #HookMeUp

9. #ilovewhen People recognize me when I’m out and about….”Hey look isn’t that the pervert they caught on To Catch a Predator?” #MakesMeCry

10. Interviews with a NASCAR driver after they wreck could be the funniest thing ever. #CarWasStrongDangGummit

11. Just realized I’m sitting on the couch watching “The Black Dehlia” with a cat lying next to me. #FaggotMoment

12. The counter person at the WaWa’s in ashland , va. has the ashiest knuckles I have ever seen on black person. #Lotion

13. You know your getting old when you have to take a pill when you wake up, go to bed, before you eat, after you eat, before and after sex.

14. #uknoyoughettowhen you go to McDonalds to steal napkins because you ran out of toilet paper

15. #uknoyoughettowhen your BathTub is used for washing your ass and your clothes. #JustSaying

16. Was stoked to play some wii-fit tonight, but I broke both my legs, sprained both wrist, and snapped my back. Oh well maybe tomorrow. #Yawns

17. If there is a Black Lady GaGa she would call herself Shanaynay GaGa. #YaHerd

18. #idontunderstandwhy you trying to merge on the highway doing 35MPH!!! We doing 70MPH WTF? #PickUpSpeedAndMerge Dammit!

19. There are 3 ways of communication 1. Telephone 2. Television 3. Tell-a-woman

20. Running out of toilet paper in a public restroom, and being busted walking with your pants down tryin to find some. #thatwasawkward


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