Henry Schilling http://henryschilling.com Henry Schilling is the peoples comedian. Wed, 19 Jun 2013 23:57:23 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Brian Scalabrine (Fan Favorite) & (Worst Player) http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/12/brian-scalabrine-fan-favorite-worst-player/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/12/brian-scalabrine-fan-favorite-worst-player/#comments Sat, 08 Dec 2012 13:41:25 +0000 henrys http://henryschilling.com/?p=502 Is it possible for a NBA player to be a loved by fans but yet still be the worst player ever in the history of the league? Hello Brian Scalabrine, You are that guy! BTW I’ve done my research with rules on my findings. Player has to have at least 10 years of playing.

Scalabrine played 11 seasons (NJ, Boston, Chicago) played in 520 games started 61! Which kind of surprised me, I mean how and why did that happen? Anyways….He averaged 13 mpg, shot 39%, only 2.0 rpg (he’s 6’9) and averaged 3.1 ppg

I didn’t have a whole bunch of players to pick from, but thought Scalabrine was a interesting one. Oh BTW he did win a NBA Championship in 2007-2008 with the Boston Celtics! So does that make my claim that he’s the worst player…… a FAIL?

PS. Brian Scalabrine is the greatest guy you ever want to meet! We love ya “White Mamba”

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/12/brian-scalabrine-fan-favorite-worst-player/feed/ 0 5 Christmas Gifts For The Naughty http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/12/5-christmas-gifts-for-the-naughty/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/12/5-christmas-gifts-for-the-naughty/#comments Sat, 01 Dec 2012 15:47:00 +0000 henrys http://henryschilling.com/?p=490 1. Glow in the Dark Condoms ~ Oh the FUN of those! Giggles

2. Crotch Less Panties ~ For the right now, right here type of people.

3. Milk Chocolate Anal Lube ~ I’m Sorry…….

4. Chia Pet Dildo ~ The Struggle

5. Kim Kardashian Blow Up Doll(Black Guys Only) ~ #TeamWhiteGirls

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/12/5-christmas-gifts-for-the-naughty/feed/ 0 4 Random Rants http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/08/4-random-rants/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/08/4-random-rants/#comments Thu, 16 Aug 2012 22:41:21 +0000 henrys http://henryschilling.com/?p=474 OK Time to let out some rants!

1. I noticed that football fans take on their favorite teams personalities. Cowboys-Criminals Patriots-Arrogant Steelers-Obnoxious. I won’t go down the whole list of teams but you kinda catch what I’m saying.

2. Tim Tebow is better then Mark Sanchez. Sanchez is too busy trying to be a cute boy. Ask me he ain’t but a couple of dimples away from being GAY

3. I hate Lebron James because he always trying to act like he hip-hop and shit, with his corny looking ass. Yo head to big for a 9Fifty snapback.

4. My problem wit Obama is he ain’t black enough for me, Shit Call Romney a cracka or something. Pimp slap Michelle. Then I’d vote for the brotha

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/08/4-random-rants/feed/ 0 SUPER BOWL XXXVI Predictions http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/08/super-bowl-xxxvi-predictions/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/08/super-bowl-xxxvi-predictions/#comments Sat, 04 Aug 2012 11:15:14 +0000 henrys http://henryschilling.com/?p=464 I want to start off by saying “This is for entertaining purposes only. So with that in mind the two teams that I think will be in this years Super Bowl XXXVI will be the Seattle Seahawks(NFC) Vs Buffalo Bills(AFC). It’s hard to put in words how and why I think of this but yeah its what I feel is going to happen. So all my friends in Seattle and Buffalo start packing now because Feb 3rd 2013 you’ll be in New Orleans playing for RINGS.

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/08/super-bowl-xxxvi-predictions/feed/ 0 Anyone For Some Flag Football? (NFL Concussions) http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/05/any-one-for-some-flag-football-nfl-concussions/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/05/any-one-for-some-flag-football-nfl-concussions/#comments Sat, 12 May 2012 09:39:10 +0000 henrys http://henryschilling.com/?p=452 OK Should I make jokes about The NFL concussion policy? I know it’s a serious issue now a days , so I’ll try to be as sensitive as I can. Yeah right, look the way the NFL is going pretty soon it won’t be any tackling. Even tho flag football was fun to play back in elementary school it’s something I wouldn’t want to spend all day Sunday’s watching, and hanging out late on a Monday night to watch either.

I heard of a great ideal on how to solve the NFL concussion problem, I forget who spoke of this (some retired NFL player). They said if you want to stop concussions instead of making the helmets more safer how about eliminating them! YESSSSSSS!!!! Think about it tho, I know if I was playing football and didn’t have a helmet on I would be careful how I tackle someone.

I remember playing football as a kid and we never wore helmets so we learned how to really tackle without using our heads. Now a days everyone wants the BIG hit so they can be shown on ESPN highlight reel. So take a way the helmet and boom their ya go.

OK seriously, if the NFL is taking measurements on trying to stop the concussions I just hope they do it without taking away the tackling part. Me personally I don’t see a safer way so why not just leave it as is? If your scared of the injury part then don’t play, simple as that. Besides….tailgating at a flag football game would be humiliating to all man kind!

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/05/any-one-for-some-flag-football-nfl-concussions/feed/ 0 Top Five Lies Broke People Tell http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/02/top-five-lies-broke-people-tell/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/02/top-five-lies-broke-people-tell/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:12:18 +0000 HenrySchilling http://henryschilling.com/?p=386 1. My work messed my check up

2. My bank card broke I gotta wait til they mail me another one.

3. I got money I just don’t wanna spend it

4. Imma pay off all my bills when I get my federal tax refund back

5. I didn’t like that car anyway, so I let em have it(Repossessed)

(From My Twitter) @HenrySchilling

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2012/02/top-five-lies-broke-people-tell/feed/ 0 Fantasy Football http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/fantasy-football/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/fantasy-football/#comments Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:14:42 +0000 HenrySchilling http://henryschilling.com/?p=361 Do you love fantasies? Do you love football? Put em together and what do you get? No not day dreaming of hot chicks playing football. I’m talking about fantasy football as in having Aaron Rodgers as your starting QB on your fantasy team. ahhhhhdreamy isn’t it? Unless your a Chicago Bear fan, because that my friends is a fantasy football law! Never pick your favorite teams rival players! NEVER! Some guys pick nothing but their favorite team players, now I never seen anyone actually win a fantasy championship with that strategy but its you team. Me, myself would never pick my favorite teams players because of the JINX I have on my own team. Happens every time, I put em as a starter and what do ya know? He stinks up the joint, my favorite team loses and my fantasy takes the hit.

Oh and what about naming your fantasy team? I’m always known as the “Buffalo Balls” get it? I like the Buffalo bills but I changed the “i” in bills and but an “a” to make it sound like a animals testicles. Ok I know I know how original but its my lucky fantasy name! I name my team anything else we lose!

Kickers & Defenses doesn’t win fantasy championships, but still a decision on Sundays that we must make. Oh and Bye weeks suck! It’s every fantasy team owners nightmare, nothing says WTF like having to replace Aaron Rodgers with Tarvaris Jackson who’s team is playing the Baltimore Ravens that week. Nothing and I mean nothing is greater then having the trifecta, Your favorite NFL team wins, your fantasy team wins, and you look like a football expert that you always thought you was.

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/fantasy-football/feed/ 0 Hoarders Are Silly http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/hoarders-are-silly/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/hoarders-are-silly/#comments Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:58:04 +0000 HenrySchilling http://henryschilling.com/?p=356 We all have seen the Hoarder shows on A&E right? Well my question is have any hoarders ever seen the hoarder shows? I mean come on! Really? Do you have to hoard so much junk that Kim Kardashian ass is jealous? Look its ok to collect things…dolls,toys, and such and such but cant you at least keep it organized and neat? Oh and what about the hoarders that just throw trash everywhere? Those are the worst kind!

Look if you ask my mom she will tell you that I never kept my room totally cleaned but I did from time to time tidy things up. I even threw stuff away from time to time…like my G.I. Joe. Which should be a man law! (sorry G.I. Joe) I miss ya buddy. Ok lets get back to this hoarder thing before I feel guilty and start crying. (sniff sniff)

2 hours later……..Ok I doubt that any hoarders are reading this but dammit stop making up excuses for your sloppiness. All I do is laugh at y’all pathetic ass. Clean up your damn houses and stop your crying about how you love your junk and how hard it is to throw away your collectibles(JUNK)!!! Besides if My G.I. Joe had to go then dammit…oh never mind!

Ebay search……G.I. Joe

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/hoarders-are-silly/feed/ 0 Tim Tebow Time!!! http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/tim-tebow-time/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/tim-tebow-time/#comments Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:06:16 +0000 HenrySchilling http://henryschilling.com/?p=351 Guess what? Tim Tebow is now the starting QB for the Denver Broncos. Ok and for the record I’m not a Bronco fan and I really didn’t like Tebow when he played for the Florida Gators. So why am I writing this blog and supporting Tebow? Because Tebow is a baller! That’s it a Baller! Some might say Tebow isn’t ready yet, some will say his throwing mechanics aren’t pretty, some will even say he flat out sucks! Guess what? Tim Tebow is now the starting QB for the Denver Broncos!

Look I know Tebow is gonna have some games were he messes up, fumbles, interceptions, and even not going with the play calling. I get that part! The dude is a stud on the field, he’s a winner, and when he’s on the field he does whatever it takes to win the game. Stats will be ugly of course but by the end of the game…..Tebow will have given 100%. So all the doubters and haters just do your thing and keep on doing what you do but I know one thing Tim Tebow is the starting QB for the Denver Broncos!

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/10/tim-tebow-time/feed/ 0 Stupid People http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/09/stupid-people/ http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/09/stupid-people/#comments Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:08:32 +0000 HenrySchilling http://henryschilling.com/?p=329 Finally a topic I can relate too, I mean as much as I have called everyone I came across “Stupid” I think I myself have had more situations of being “Stupid”. I think we all do it right? Come on admit it. How many times have you seen someone holding up traffic because they wanna make an illegal uturn? First thing out of my mouth “What are you doing you STUPID mutha F’er”? That pisses me off!!! Until I do it that is. It’s real easy to do people. I always say I’m surrounded by dumb people but only because I can’t surround myself with myself. Anyways…..I don’t even know why I wrote this “Stupid” blog. Nobody ever listens or take a comedian seriously or DO THEY?

]]> http://henryschilling.com/index.php/2011/09/stupid-people/feed/ 0