Posts Tagged ‘twitter tweets rodman cinderella myspace charlie sheen NASCAR McDonalds Wii Lady GaGa’

20 Reasons To Follow Me On Twitter

20 random tweets from the past couple weeks from me:

1. Dennis Rodman to play the lead in the new movie “Drag Cinderella” #TwoThumbsUpYourAss

2. if you follow me on Twitter I swear I will follow you on Myspace. #Deal?

3. I feel like I’m underachieving at this point in my life, I should be past the shyness of kissing a girl. #PuckerUp

4. I’m looking for that One Shining Moment, That moment after sex when she finally says “Good Job” #iWaitpatiently

5. #thingsivesaidduringsex your not as good as your mother

6. #ilovewhen a Blonde thinks she’s smarter then me, Just remember I’m not as smart as I look to you and dont forget it. #DumbBitch

7. I’m a beautiful person in the inside, You just have to peek through my asshole to see it. #JustSaying

8. Dear @charliesheen , Can I open for one of your shows? I think I can get louder Boo’s then the last guy that opened for you. #HookMeUp

9. #ilovewhen People recognize me when I’m out and about….”Hey look isn’t that the pervert they caught on To Catch a Predator?” #MakesMeCry

10. Interviews with a NASCAR driver after they wreck could be the funniest thing ever. #CarWasStrongDangGummit

11. Just realized I’m sitting on the couch watching “The Black Dehlia” with a cat lying next to me. #FaggotMoment

12. The counter person at the WaWa’s in ashland , va. has the ashiest knuckles I have ever seen on black person. #Lotion

13. You know your getting old when you have to take a pill when you wake up, go to bed, before you eat, after you eat, before and after sex.

14. #uknoyoughettowhen you go to McDonalds to steal napkins because you ran out of toilet paper

15. #uknoyoughettowhen your BathTub is used for washing your ass and your clothes. #JustSaying

16. Was stoked to play some wii-fit tonight, but I broke both my legs, sprained both wrist, and snapped my back. Oh well maybe tomorrow. #Yawns

17. If there is a Black Lady GaGa she would call herself Shanaynay GaGa. #YaHerd

18. #idontunderstandwhy you trying to merge on the highway doing 35MPH!!! We doing 70MPH WTF? #PickUpSpeedAndMerge Dammit!

19. There are 3 ways of communication 1. Telephone 2. Television 3. Tell-a-woman

20. Running out of toilet paper in a public restroom, and being busted walking with your pants down tryin to find some. #thatwasawkward